Needless to say that it has been a remarkably long time since I have last written to y’all. Life has been rather busy with school and work and friends. But now, I have come home to Southern California to watch my sister walk at her high school graduation and to spend some time with family. Naturally, during this time, as there is infinitely more time, I plan to invest in a variety of books over the summer. What can I say? I’m a bookworm ;-). Mostly, I’d like to get back in touch with my femininity. Continue reading
As the month of April approaches, I make the following promise to myself:
I will treat myself with the utmost respect. I will treat my body and soul as the art form that it truly is. I will feed it more fruits, veggies, and mostly grilled meats. I will exercise more regularly and to feel the wide spectrum of feelings and emotions.
Throughout the month of April I resign myself to treating myself with the nutrients and love that I deserve.
I want to be pregnant. I need to be pregnant. I have surpassed simple desire and have progressed to the deep seeded need. Lately, when I lie in bed and just take the time to feel and to sense, I feel like I can actually sense a baby kicking and squirming within me. This occurs despite being on birth control for the passed year and a half, and despite not being pregnant. At times, I believe that I should be concerned, yet these feelings often only increase my want and need to be pregnant.
I am not a feminist. The reason is simple. I am not a feminist because I do not need a movement to tell me what I am and am not capable of. I do not need a movement to tell me what I can and cannot do with my life. I do not need a movement to tell me about equality and how to be equal.
I do not need to be a part of a movement to know what it means to be equal. A movement that has confused equality for sameness. I do not wish to advocate sameness as sameness is just as dangerous and harmful as discrimination based on sex, gender, race, ethnicity, etc… How is that a movement can claim equality when so many of the feminist in the name of equality have been so much more about man hate in their actions? If we ever hope to be truly equal we must speak of all the obstacles that a person could encounter.
Or perhaps we could take into consideration a great many things. Do we really need a movement to tell us how to live our life?
For me, I don’t need a movement. I know who I am and what I am capable. I can have my cake and eat it to. I can be the mother and have a career. And I can be both a fantastic loving mother who is compassionate and only wants the best for those she around her. I don’t need a movement to tell me that.
I can be a good, loving, compassionate wife and mother and still be a strong, powerful career woman. At times yes it may be difficult especially with the way in which I would love to raise my children; especially raising three children in such a fashion. Yet a movement that claims to be about equality fails to recognize just that. That yes, it may become remarkably difficult to have what I want, but it is possible.
I don’t have to be anything that anyone tells me to be. In doing so I will only be lost, forever confused about what I should do and who I am supposed to be. I can be equal without following a movement.
I can be everything that I want to be without obsessing over differences.
I don’t get cat calls or hoots and hollers. I get called lovely, beautiful, and compliments such as that. I don’t need to hook up to know that I am sexy and wonderful. I am equal to men and to everyone who exists. We are all equal, and we do not need a movement to tell us so.
Lately, I have been thinking. I have been wondering one thing; only one thing. I have been pondering the idea of whether it is possible for one thing to happen. What is that one thing?
I have been wondering is it possible for there to exist so much love in our live, in this world, that there is no room for hate.
You see, I find that investing my energy in ill feelings towards another is exhausting.
I imagine that there is a place in this world for love; arguably there is so much room in this world for love that there is no room for hate. Love is powerful, it is flexible and stern. It is kind and compassionate. Love is everything.